after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
