I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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