If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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