Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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