she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We need to get me chipped asap
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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