Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
