RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
