We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
