And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
