It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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