i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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