i permit you to call me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
