he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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