You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
