using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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