I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
