new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
