I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
