The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
