A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
