oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
