My sheets look like a crime scene.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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