I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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