my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There r osticjed everywhere
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
