just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
