East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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