So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
