Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
