6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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