Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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