we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
