she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
