just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
