So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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