I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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