VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
