Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
