A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
