I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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