you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
