So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
