her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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