So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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