She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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