i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
