Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
