so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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