I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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