we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
