Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
