bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
