i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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