you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
